I Travel Alone- Dr. A. Simpson

​As I sit and reflect on all that has happened in my life, I realize that I’m on a path that I and only I travel.  Yet, each day on this path brings more opportunities for self-reflection and silent processing.  In this silence and reflection, I must acknowledge that my interactions, as a black woman, with the world around me are not the same as all black women.  However, my God-given purpose is to speak my truth in the hopes that my truth resonates with some and changes the path of others.  Let me explain…
I was born into this world with skin that some see as beautiful and others as a threat.  I was told from birth that while being “cute for a dark-skinned girl,” that same cuteness would also become my struggle.  See, it had always been clear that being black wouldn’t be easy.  But being a black woman makes it more challenging.  And, to top it off, the more education I achieve, the bigger the target on my back will become.  "People are not going to like you just because of your skin, and that's something you have to be prepared to battle.  They are going to test you.  They are going to challenge everything you say.  And when they can't beat you…they are going to come at you in ways that you never imagined,” my professor used to say.  "Are you ready?  Because that road can become lonely at times and dangerous at others.”
At that time, I didn’t understand, but as I kept walking my path, I understood exactly what he meant.  I needed to be prepared to battle discrimination, racism, and sexism.  I needed to be prepared to walk alone or on the journey, the world created for me.  No matter the path, what was certain was that the road would have some rough spots like the dirt roads of Mississippi that I played on so many years ago.  And other times, that same road would be smooth and easy to navigate.  But the parts of the road that would benefit me most were the rough roads filled with rocks, sand, and potholes.  And last year was a year of true understanding.  Last year was the year that tested all that I knew as an expert and leader, which pushed me to want to fall into every stereotype that I had worked so hard to combat.  I was weak and vulnerable while mad and hurt at the same time.  I was intentionally inflicted with trauma and hate disguised with terms like “growth and development,” “servant leader,” or “team player.” And, through it all…I stood firm until I fell to my knees.
I’m sure you are thinking, "this is depressing," but I promise it gets better.  See, that fall was not the making of my enemy; it was of my own making.  I fell because I needed God to stand in front of me.  After all, the battle was something I was losing, and I knew that losing was not an option when God was in the midst.  That’s the one thing my professor neglected to ask, “how do you plan to battle these roads?” The answer is "with God's help." So God guided me to leave…and I did.  I'd done something I'd done many times; I walked by faith and not by sight.  I'd walked alone physically but not alone spiritually.  And, in that walk, I began to grow closer to God, and he began to show me my worth, value, and strength.  I had become Tupac Shakur’s "Rose in the Concrete."
My pastor once said, “You are not doing something right if you don’t have haters, and those haters will become your footstools.” We all have days where giving up seems like the best (and sometimes only) option.  I mean…why keep getting beat up and kicked around?  Why go to bed tired and exhausted and wake up the same way?  Why?  Because you KEEP and WAKE.  Those two words alone show that God's got you.  These are active and future words.  With this, let me tell you what I’ve learned:

1. You can’t control your haters, but you can control how you respond.  Don’t let haters live in your head rent-free.  Charge them or evict them.
2. Your haters are your greatest motivators.  What they don’t understand is that the more that hatred shows that’s your confirmation that you’re doing God’s work.
3. Your haters will come in all forms but don’t fear.  Your faith is stronger than anyone or anything that enters your life.
4. A hater will pull you under to save themselves; don’t you become one of them.  Our job is to uplift and empower, not pull others down.
5. You’re not put in this world to make others feel good about themselves.  You're not put in any space to make others comfortable.  The feelings they have are THEIR feelings to battle…not yours.
6. Be in spaces you’re not wanted in.  Change happens when you’re in the room and vocal.  You are removing your voice from the conversation by allowing others to make you feel so bad that being in the room seems impossible.  Remember the saying, "YOU can't complain if YOU don't offer input…"  by not being present, two things are happening 1) YOU removed your voice from the conversation 2) YOU removed the opportunity to make a change. Change comes when you’re in the conversation, so don’t let anyone take your voice and possibly change.
7. Stand your ground but be professional.  Standing your ground is always challenging, and the aftermath can get rough.  But, stay in your professional element and don’t feed into what is expected or wanted of you…that’s when you slip the most.
8. Live in your truth.  Every morning when you wake up, say, “I am beautiful (or handsome), I am smart, I am good at what I do.  I am my ancestors because they are kings and queens.  I am Black and not ashamed.  I am a woman (man) and not sorry.  I have a voice, and it will be heard.
9. Don't let anyone write or tell your story.  Your story is yours and only yours to tell.  So write and read your narrative with pride.
10. The most important lesson of them all is, “Be ready to walk your road alone.”

Here’s where it all comes together when you walk that road; thank God for each step, each struggle, and each fall.  Why?  Because each time you got up and kept walking.  Because God didn't leave you; instead, he blessed you.  See each step was the opportunity to gauge the road ahead.  Each struggle made your feet tougher.  Each fall put you closer to the rocks and dirt so you could understand that the same rocks and dirt could be used to fill the potholes ahead, thus creating smoother roads.  See, God may not have been with you in the form of flesh, but he didn’t leave you.  He always spiritually guided your steps, taught you lessons, and protected you from enemies, even if that enemy was yourself.  Remember, the devil has no power when God is on your side.
Author notes:
Dr. A.Simpson
Learning2Lead1, LLC. 
[email protected]